Ive discovered a new mole on my neck. This post wouldn't seem quite as important if it were not for the fact that said mole did not exist a few days ago. I have a phobia of new moles, apparently, because this little motherfucker is stressing me out.

Review of Red Dead Redemption(s game world)

The wait I endured for this game was literally staggering. Time seemed to pass at a slightly slower pace during the months leading up to the games release, and when the seven day mark hit I was almost certain time would punk my bitch ass once again. Towards the final day of the countdown the paranoia set in, and I found myself sitting in my closet clutching both a copy of Sam Peckinpah's "The Wild Bunch" and a copy of GUN, furiously smashing the two together whilst reciting every western movie quote i could fathom in a strange and ultimately sad attempt to assimilate the ingredients into the desired product. And then it was May 18th. I put down my crudely sharpened sticks and second-hand copy of the Necronomicon, relearned both the English Language and the exact skills required to operate a Play Station 3, and sat down with my most anticipated game of 2010.


You play as John Marston, a reformed outlaw who doesn't cheat on his wife, despite my many attempts to get him to fucking do so. I don't want to ruin the story, and with that in mind I will give you an incredibly concise description of the twisting and turning snake of a plot that RDR(Red Dead Redemption) possesses. Abridged plot; John Marston did bad things. Now he has to do more bad things. But its for a good reason, so his actions are justified. And maybe you can expect some redeeming, or even some dying. There, now that that's out of the way I can talk about the star of this game.

The star of the game is this shit you see above. All those miles of lonely terrain, lovingly watched over by a sky box that could only have been created by god. But what is a massive world without anything to do? It is less of a game for that reason. If somebody took the awesome linear experience of Resident Evil 4, and then gave you 50 square miles of realistic Spanish terrain with NOTHING TO DO, it would transform the original stellar game into an episode of frustration. Leon S. Kennedy slowly jogs through a dense Spanish forest, and enters more dense forest. That is Far Cry 2 syndrome. Beautiful expansive world with fuck all to do within it besides killing random large animals and black people. Gamers don't like being bored, so the least you can do is either eliminate the boredom, or trick the gamer into thinking they're not bored. What? Oh ya Morrowind isn't boring. There's so much to do in all that space like... fight Mudcrabs! And Netches, Betty Netches, Guars, Cliff Racers and Kwama Foragers! And maybe when you're not constantly fighting these little bastards, you can get your ass chased from Seyda Neen to Balmora by ten fucking Cliff Racers! Gimme a sec to catch my breath... And fall prey to my trained Cliff Racer army!

Red Dead Redemption does not have this issue. Yes the world is giant and foreboding, but there's a beautiful random event system at work ensuring that your trip to McFarlane Ranch is sidetracked by a beautiful young lady. Being chased through the desert by a less beautiful and exponentially more hungry group of coyotes. Or perhaps a man's wife is about to be hung by a murderous gang of ne'er-do-wells. Some moments in the game are as satisfying as can be despite only requiring you to sit and listen to a mans stories at a campfire. It's this organic implementation of events that adds to the immersiveness of Red Dead's game world, and consequently it is the living breathing world Rockstar has created for RDR that makes the game what it is. Red Dead Redemption is an experience, and at this point in time it stands to offer you one of the most beautiful game worlds you can find coupled with perhaps the most intuitive random event management system that i've ever seen. If I can give any advice to you, it is to buy this game if you have the option.

Query; Why haven't you seen this shit?

On a second blog for the day I would like to bring to note two movies that I hold very closely to my heart. The first is a little crime-drama titled; "A History of Violence".

This movie was low on the radar. And I can not think of any reason (good or otherwise) that this movie flew so god damned low under the radar at all. Cronenberg's true return to film-making literally blew me away, with the director seeming to trade in his credibility within the shock horror genre that he so lovingly innovated (Scanners, Naked Lunch, The Fly, Videodrome, and The Brood.) for a more grounded take on film. Where scanners had psychic powerhouses exploding mad amounts of skull, A History of Violence featured a tightly wound plot and a solid cast, with Cronenberg trading over the top special effects for a closer look into the characters that drive the movie. That is not to say that the movie is without violence. A staple of the Director's career, Cronenberg's violence is refined to a point of startling realism. The film is punctuated by short moments of sublime super-violence, taking only seconds to transpire and effectively translating not only the act itself, but the ripple effects that are brought into motion by it. The film led into a second Mortensen/Cronenberg pairing, and the result's straight-to-DVD release allowed it to slip even further under the radar than their first collaboration. The film is "Eastern Promises". The result is Gold.

Viggo, once again looking incredibly dapper albeit a bit scarred, reprises the lead role in Cronenberg's "Eastern Promises" bringing his usual charm and rugged sophistication to the film. But there is a twist! Viggo is not your standard hard-as-nails American man. He's your less-standard but just-as-hard-as-nails Russian man who is also infiltrating the Russian mafia as an undercover agent. And he has emotions! Sweet lord. But no, seriously, watch this film, love this film and then blog about this film. Its probably at your neighborhood video store, and you really have no excuse not to better your film collection. Also i recently found out that Cronenberg has a new film on the way titled A Dangerous Method, which stars Viggo as Sigmund Freud. As it is already in filming.... I am already pissing myself out of sheer anticipation...

Urge to read.... Rising!

Recently finished "The Road", by a mister Cormac McCarthy. I believe that's the proper spelling. Left a resounding impact on me. In terms of style of writing, the road stands out with a sublimely concise method of description, which my com padre Dave added to by pointing out the prose-like quality of whole paragraphs in the story.There is an untold amount of books that I could pick up and read in a day, however there are very few which I would enjoy doing so with. "The Road" stands as one of those few. That Elite Classy Bitch of a crowd. Completion of the tale has prompted me to begin reading "No Country For Old Men", but only once I have completed my daunting book-list that lies in wait, slowly calculating my every move whilst simultaneously counting down the seconds to my death. All while twirling its mustache in a most unsettling manner.

THE PLAN I SHALL STICK TO IN ORDER TO PROPERLY COMBAT MY FOE:
Firstly I am required to finish "World War Z" as it is on loan from a friend and does not belong to me. Secondly "Schindler's List" because something about it seems worth reading, but i cant really put my finger on what it is. All of that shit followed by a literally heaping plate of "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep" as well as other assorted short stories and novels by mister Philip K. Dick. Round that off with both a second read through of Ray Bradbury's "Something Wicked This Way Comes", as well as a beginners attempt at the Dark Tower series, and I would seem to have a busy month in store.

Here's lookin at you kid.

P.S. The Road made me very sad.. So here is a blurry picture of Sean "Diddy" Combs murdering Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. And Godzilla. At the exact same fucking time.